Gonna start a running "I don't have anything to talk about so I'm filling it with a gimmick" gimmick; without further ado, I give you 101 people you will likely encounter if you play poker often enough!
101. Old Guy There are almost always 2 or 3 Old Guys at the table. They learned Texas Hold'em 40 years ago, when playing 67 or QJ offsuit was simply taboo, and if someone called an all-in raise preflop they had at least pocket kings. They now sit at the table, hand after hand after hand, folding everything but premium cards and drinking free alcohol.
100. Internet Pro Ah, the internet pro. He is pretty much the opposite of Old Guy - mid 20s, drinks bottled water, plays every other hand, etc etc. Internet Pro likes to complain about bad beats, and he'll know exactly how unlucky he got, down to the last decimal place on the odds. Internet Pro often listens to music, wears shades, and generally approaches the game like it's Day 5 of the WSOP main event. These guys are fun to tease, since they're so damn serious.
99. Happy Drunk Guy Happy Drunk Guy can't wait to give his money away. He's at a casino, he's got free drinks coming his way every 20 minutes, and he's not playing craps or roulette: he's way ahead! Be friendly to Happy Drunk Guy and you're almost a sure bet to have a fun, profitable poker experience. The best games are the ones with multiple Happy Drunk Guys just giving their money away to Friendly Pro(yours truly).
98. Angry Drunk Guy The regrettably inevitable cousin to HDG, the Angry Drunk Guy can ruin a poker game as quick as anybody. He doesn't enjoy losing, but he's mentally impaired. This is a potentially lethal combination, and it only takes one spark before cards, chips, drinks, or anything else gets thrown, spiked, dropped, spilled etc. Fortunately the casino will usually take care of Angry Drunk Guy before he gets too out of control. In the meantime, although he's a profitable mark, it's sometimes the better part of valor just to get out of his way and find a more sane group of table mates.
97. Rich Old Guy A distant relation to Old Guy. You can tell the difference by how much the older gentleman buys in for, and the color of his rewards card. Max buy-in + VIP card = Rich Old Guy. Usually ROG will play fast and loose, with little attention to the strength of his hand, because he genuinely doesn't care if he wins or loses. He probably just dropped 5 grand at craps anyway - what's another 300 bucks? Fortunately, he generally doesn't have a keen understanding of the game, either, so he becomes just another loose-weak calling station. In other words: jackpot!
96. Jersey Shore Cast Member This dude is a humorous combination of Happy Drunk Guy and Angry Drunk Guy, mixed with some MTV stereotyping for good measure. Get on his good side early and he won't get angry at you regardless of The Situation(sorry, I couldn't resist.)
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